Why I Will Never Find True Love

I blame it on statistics. Rather, I am just compelled by this guy's calculations (how convenient).

All of you out there in love or married or whatever... Either you got incredibly lucky (unlikely) or you compromised and went for a standard deviation closer to (or, egads, below) the mean (i.e. you "settled").

Update:
Um... Just to respond to a couple recent emails... I'm not THAT bitter. Really. This post was mostly meant to be tongue in cheek. Mostly. I am still hopeful (kind of). And I dont REALLY think you settled. I am just jealous that's all.

Mister California

We were having a perfectly normal house party in the Haight until the cops showed up and broke it up. Felt just like high school all over again.

So what do you do when the cops bust your party? Kick most people out and host a Mister California competition. I am sad to say I came in only third... I rocked the evening wear and swimsuit competition, but choked on the Q&A segment and the talent portion of the evening (never drunkenly challenge anyone to a push up competition).

Congrats to The Shark for taking gold, and Nick for an inspiring silver medal performance. And thanks to Alison for providing such beautiful dresses and accessories for the evening.

As you can see below, everyone is a winner/loser in the Mister California competition...





























No Firme!


Ellen Getting Herself Into Trouble (Yet Again)

Jowlers v1.0

I've been meaning to try this for a while...
Jowlers!

First attempt was decent. Deepa is the clear winner.
Stay tuned for future events...

NYGirlOfMyDreams to Become a Movie

Well damn.

Looks like we have another feel-good-movie-of-the-year on the way, based on that recent missed connection in the NYC subways.

Way to go, dude!



Can I do the soundtrack?

Biking Over Golden Gate Bridge with the Boys

I had a great little bike ride with Lord Byron and Nick the other weekend, over Golden Gate Bridge and into the Marin Headlands (to Rodeo Beach in particular). Biking is hard.

Glamour shots (and a little art film) below...

Bonue points if anyone can clarify: Is it pronounced Ro-Day-O Beach, or Ro-Dee-O Beach?





















Two Studs on the Beach (a Silent Film)

My Subway Girl (a Story and a Song)

This is a beautiful story.

Boy sees girl on subway of NYC.
Boy spazzes out.
Girl gets away.
Boy realizes true love and is filled with regret.
Boy posts about incident on Internet.
Girl reads post and finds boy.
Ending TBD...

Here is the visual he put out there:



I love this stuff.
Maybe because it strikes so close to home.

Way back in the summer of 2000, I was riding the Green Line in Boston. I was smooshed up next to the most beautiful blond German girl. She complimented me on my shoes and pants (some self-made capris). I blushed and gushed and we talked for a few minutes.

Then my stop came. So I said, "Well this is my stop... I'm sure I'll see you again on the Green Line. It was great meeting you." And I left.

And in my mind I was certain we would meet again. Boston's not that big of a city, right? I relayed this thinking to my buddy Joey 5 minutes later. He was outraged with my naivety. I was embarrassed. And crushed. And inspired.

So I wrote a song about it. Maybe if the Internet and blogging were more popular back then I could have posted it and won her over. I guess this is a futile attempt... Too late?



I never even learned her name.

Mo(bile)

I used to be cutting edge in the mobile category. I was one of the only students at Grinnell to have a cellphone, way back in 1999. In fact, the crusty anarchist consumer-hating contingent there (my friends) would make fun of me if I ever actually used it... And I only really used it to call my parents, and as an emergency phone on road trips.

Ever since, I have stagnated. I tend to buy used one-year-old phones from eBay. They are cheaper. And as a result I usually have the clunkiest, un-sexiest of handsets.

No more! I finally splurged and bought a beautiful new Sony Ericsson Walkman phone. It is a thin black slider phone with an actual color screen. And it doesn't fall about into 4 different pieces like a sad old Transformer like my last one.

I mean, just look at it. It is beautiful.


And I fear already obsolete.
Damn you iPhone.

Damn you...